Learning Tour, BAMM, Rain+Gardens, Work Update, Wedding, Poetry

Care International Learning Tour

Village Women in VSLA

Last week I was selected to be one of two Northern Uganda Peace Corps Volunteers to travel with a Care International Learning Tour. “These high-level delegations include members of Congress, the U.S. Administration, corporate partners, donors, celebrities and other influential individuals. Members of the media have often joined Learning Tours, and CARE brings a photographer and videographer to capture the experience. “ (http://www.care.org/getinvolved/learningtour/learningtours.asp) .

Happy Kids in Awach

This program connects policy makers and thought leaders with the issues facing development across the world. I traveled with Senator Johnny Isakson and Congressman Jack Kingston, both from GA; Congresswoman Barbara Lee from CA; Helene Gayle President of CARE USA; Former Ambassador to Uganda Jimmy Kolker, Jim Coughlan President of UPS Customer Solutions, Catherine Conners, a Social Media Maven and important person at Babble, a Disney Company (http://www.babble.com/); Bo cutter of the Roosevelt Institute; and several members of Care’s Staff…including Christina Santos who rode in my vehicle and manages their annual advocacy conference.

Ambassador, Senator, Business Man!

I was taken by vehicle to the Gulu Airport to meet the plane as it landed. Waiting with me were the Gulu District Chairman and the Gulu Resident Commissioner along with several USAID staff. A medium sized UN plane landed and off came about 20 people. We boarded 13 vehicles, I was assigned #6, and off we rode to a Village Savings and Loan group in Awach that uses the group meetings to facilitate social services for its women and their men. We also observed bead making, tailoring projects, and agricultural items they raise for sale.

Happy baby!

Next we attended a Pathfinder International program (http://www.pathfind.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Programs_Uganda) where they are working side by side with the National Community of Women Living with HIV/AIDS (http://www.nacwola.or.ug/) Here we witnessed how community volunteers visit people in their huts and discuss their family needs and challenges and develop plans forward for reproductive health and family planning. Our sample family was comprised of 2 parents with HIV and their 4 children…all HIV Negative to date!

On this one-day tour, I gave my poem American Skin (Posted on this blog on March 25^th) to Senator Johnny Isakson to thank him for passing the Kate Puzey Peace Corps Volunteer Protection Act of 2011 http://www.gop.gov/bill/112/1/s1280. As a token of thanks, he had his photo taken with me and promises to send me a copy! I also met both his staff members – the dynamic duo of Chris Squared! My nick-name for the 2 men named Chris. I was impressed with them all. Congressman Jack Kingston was an easy to like, direct and intelligent man, who shared several book titles with me and gave me a name for my husband to contact about his business ventures.  I admit I was glad to see our elected officials in a more personal and less divisive setting than shown on TV. They are real people! Really!

Mommy's helper

Congressman Kingston in hut with kids

Congressman Kingston and friend

Mommy Blogger and friend

Riding in vehicle #6 were Karla (Me), Catherine and Christina. We traveled in a 13 car convoy with security men checking each vehicle after every stop before moving to the next destination. I felt like a celebrity with all the cameras (both video and still photo), security and media people in “My entourage”I hope Christina sends me some photos of me with the big wigs!! AND Catherine works for Babble.com and may check out my blog (She at least asked for it). I may be “Discovered!” ....finally, ….or not!

Paper Beads

BAMM – April is Blog About Malaria Month (BAMM) for PCVs in Africa. This is connected to a new initiative in Peace Corps called Stomp Out Malaria in Africa that unites the efforts of the volunteers across country lines.   “Peace Corps Volunteers have been working in malaria prevention since the agency’s beginning in 1961. Now, through Stomping Out Malaria in Africa, sub-Saharan Africa’s 3,000 PCVs and 25 Peace Corps posts will be sharing ideas, best practices, and information about projects they are working on in malaria prevention. “

So my best practices are – I sleep under a mosquito net every night, I take my malaria medicines every day, I wear bug spray and long sleeves to thwart the dreaded mosquitos, I get rid of standing water, and I hope to make mosquitos nets as an income generating activity at my school and distribute them across Uganda! THAT’S MY BLOG AND I AM STICKING TO IT!

Agriculture Student Seed Beds

RAIN – the day after the group tour left, the rainy season set in. Temperatures dropped to the low 80s and moisture returned to Northern Uganda. In today’s blog, in the poetry section, is my response to this welcomed event. Rain means I can begin my gardens…Flower and Vegetables. On Saturday I hired several young male students to clear some of the bush for me – This is still in process. I think the plot will be approximately 40 feet by 40 feet. I will definitely take seeds (placed in a ziplocks) if you want to send a package. Our Agriculture students already began their seed beds and have been working outside my house for several weeks now. My flowers are already planted around my home – though I plan to plant many around our office building next weekend.

My latrines and bathing area and my supervisor's chicken house

WORK Update In pursuit of a brick making machine, I traveled to Gulu and walked to the District Engineer Offices. I waited in the lobby on a Friday morning for over an hour for someone to accept my written letter requesting information of assistance on locating these machines donated back in 2009. Finally a helpful gentleman who is the Engineer for Schools invited me to his office. Upon reading my letter he said the district had 4 such machines and all I need to do is write a letter to the Chairman’s Office and the Chief Administrative Officers Office and they will inform him to release them to our school. He said none were being used at this time, so it is likely I will not have to wait for them.  So the process has begun – stay tuned.

Dressed for the wedding - in front of fields near my home 

Traditional Marriage – Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I attended a traditional marriage. I attended with several members of the school staff and we decorated a goat to take as a marriage gift. Yes I said decorated a goat…it was alive and we wrapped it in vinyl wrapping paper and decorated its horns and tail with ribbons and placed a garland around its neck. At the marriage there were traditional dancers and speeches and many local dignitaries. I even dressed up for the event. What is funny is the range of attire. Fancy Ugandan dress as well as Corona T-shirts were de rigueur!

One great wedding gift!!!

Traditional Dancers

Girls in Courtship Dance

Drummer 

Australian Volunteer Dancing in Courtship dance 

Poetry

Rejoicing Earth                                 April 6, 2012

Glorious Rain

Begins with a scent

Faintly blowing across the fields

Intermittent caresses

Of cooler thickening air

Strengthening winds

Warn of the approaching symphony

Clashing cymbals of lightning

Followed by thunderous bass drums

Building into the percussion crescendo

Millions of tiny droplets

Punctuated by the torrents

Racing off the roof

Slowly retreating into softening stanzas

Of a soothing steady drizzle

Fading into gentle drips and drops

Which lessen

Until it is gone

And the earth

Rejoices

Anew

Toughest Job                     April 6, 2012

In Peace Corps I learned

It was The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love

But I disagree

Parenting, by far

Embodies that phrase

The most beautiful, awe inspiring entities

You will ever encounter

Are your children

The weight of the responsibility

Of being their guardians

Is overwhelming

Rearing children looks easy, obvious

Until you are blessed with the job

Then the crushing uncertainty enters in

When to hold on, when to let go

When to protect, when to let fail

When to correct, when to keep silent

When to engineer, when to sit back and observe

The magnitude of the consequences

Of your actions & decisions

Can paralyze

For your children

You will give everything

Money, time, your life

Unfortunately

The process is not offered as an exchange

It is a continuous commitment

To think & re-think

Test and observe

Trust and verify

Changing your tactics

As best you can guess

Based on reading the tea leaves

Rarely knowing

The outcome

Until 20-30 years pass

And they welcome their own

Miracles into the world
Taking on the Toughest Job
Themselves

Anxiety                                March 27, 2012

In the grip

Pressure like a python

Squeezing my chest

Racing heartbeat, rapid breathing

Stemming from

Anxiety

Seeming to come from nowhere

Trying its best

To instill panic

Feeling the need to run

Anywhere

To escape the weight on my breastbone

Deliberately taking deep breaths

Forcing my thoughts

On the positive
Blessings

Recognizing it will pass

As it always has

If I can repel

The overwhelming wave of

Anxiety

Thanks Mom and Dad

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Dear Mom and Dad-

I am so grateful for the love and support you have shown me over here.  I  realized today that you are doing for me what I would do for my sons if they were in Peace Corps – I would be thinking of what they need and might like and then I would spend time collecting things and enjoying the process of caring for my grown sons again…just like when they were young.  I suppose that is what you are doing for me!

Your package arrived today and I Love this box the most – it was full of great items that made my eyes well up. The dinner plate hibiscus and moon vine seeds are such a great connection to Graceland. I also love the horse-print purse! The side pockets are the perfect size for carrying a water bottle. I think I will share the purse design with the craft designer at Comboni Samaritans as they had asked for new product ideas. I needed a purse mirror and you sent one without me asking – mind readers!! Also the foods, tape and lotions – I especially liked the aloe foot socks – I cant wait to put them on when I get back to site.

So I want to say thanks – thanks for giving me such a happy childhood, thanks for living through hell with me as a teenager, thanks for giving me room to grow up and create my family, thanks for welcoming my sons into your lives so graciously and thanks for letting me feel like your child again as a 49 year old woman.  Isn’t life a miraculous circle! 

HEAT, Work Update, You want to Join Peace Corps? , Poetry

March 24, 2012

HEAT HEAT HEAT

The hardest challenge this last week is the heat. I keep hearing the rainy season is coming; however, the dry season is hanging on with a vengeance. March has been unbearable. The heat is beginning to make me a little nutty. The temps are not higher than in the southern US, but the lack of reprieve is what makes it hard. Remember there is no air conditioning or refrigerators or ice, so the 95-100 degrees never lets up. Several nights this week I lay in bed practically naked on top of my sheets feeling the sweat trickle down my arms and legs. I fantasize about crushed ice in a large big gulp cup of coca cola or a cherry lime-aid from sonic!! Once the rains come – which I hear are very late this year – lucky me – the temps should drop and become lovely again.

Work Update

Agriculture Students Making seed beds in front of laundry drying on drip irrigation fence

Well – It’s been a while since I talked about my work – so here is a quick update.

I think the most successful thing I have done so far was to set up a “library” at my school. I had the chance to buy a box of “throw away” books from an organization who received some books from Books for Africa. This is a US non-profit that sends books by the shipping container load to Africa – the cost is approximately US $4,000 and that covers the shipping of the container to Kampala. I was offered this leftover box of books for approx. US $4 – it had comic books, 12 books on farming in the Midwest and several story books – none of them best sellers or even noteworthy – except for one book on Mardi Gras that I am keeping myself – It helped me explain the Mardi Gras Dabloons (SP?) sent by my big Bro Kirby along with my Rex pin 2012!!! The book had a picture of Rex himself and some Dabloons! Who knew!

Burning dead grass to kill soil bacteria and then mulching ash into soil

Anyway we catalogued the books – approximately 45 in all - and stamped them with the school stamp – and then told the students and staff about the new program. In one day all the books were checked out – and several were read and returned in the very same day and exchanged for another one. In a school where there are no books, not even textbooks and the only materials are notebooks, getting something to read is a rare treat. I have seen the students reading food wrappers to each other. So I am thrilled to see them reading anything. I think I will organize some kind of book drive at some point because this is a real need and this is capacity building – not just handing out money. However – please wait until I get it planned as I have to pay “taxes” on every package that arrives.

Students Listening to entrepreneur speaker

A second, somewhat success, is my Entrepreneur Speaker Series. An idea I borrowed from my Owen School volunteer work! So far we have hosted one speaker. A graduate of our Carpentry & Joinery program from 1999 who has grown a successful small business and now has Carpentry, Metalwork and Agricultural businesses. He spoke about honesty, hard work, delivering what you promise, quality, and the value of a person’s word. I got goose bumps several times during his talk as this is what these young people need to hear.

Entrepreneur speaker audience

I also organized an HIV/AIDS Voluntary Counseling and Testing (VCT) day at Lukodi Village that occurred on Tuesday. Approximately 10% of the Ugandan population is HIV positive. The women of Lukodi had requested this service so they could test the men of the village. This same program will come to test and educate my village of Koro and my school in June. I partnered with an Italian NGO to come and provide these services…all for free. They prefer to go where the service is requested and organized before they arrive.

I also have someone at Peace Corps trying to locate bulk rolls of treated mosquito netting as I believe the school could become a major net supplier in northern Uganda. Our tailoring dept is not well subscribed
and we lack a strong teacher so we could use the idle machines for income generation.  I am hopeful for this initiative but it must be supported by the school to be successful.

I also am looking into a brick making machine for several purposes: training, building a brick fence around our school, new school building needs, and for income generation. In 2009, 40 machines were given to each district in Northern Uganda. A fellow Peace Corps Volunteer has found the one in Arua was idle and had it donated to his catholic vocational school. I am planning to follow up with our Local Council and district engineer to see if the one for Gulu district is being used.  The machine saves money and time and is more eco-friendly.  Our students can use the machine for training on the new technology and for making new school buildings. We presently need a production showroom as well as a new computer center. Eventually we can request a grant for computers.

I am very hopeful to fund much of this through small investments - either grants or loans. I prefer loans as they teach independence and long term are more sustainable. The school has a good banking relationship and already has a positive loan history. So I hope they are not looking for a free ride.

I have been selected to be a staff member at the upcoming Peace Corps Camp for girls between the ages of 14-18. It is called Camp Glow (Girls Leading Our World) and is the last week of April. I will be teaching 2 sessions on income generation activities (IGA’s) and Business skills. I will also help with organizing and logistics when not teaching. My counterpart was also selected so we will both be there together.

So You Think You Want to Join Peace Corps?

This Peace Corps program is still a very challenging adventure…Challenging on more fronts than I can articulate. The cultural divide is wider than I imagined, and the isolation is palpable on a daily basis. Also it is difficult to know if you are making a difference most days…Though I am told I am. According to Peace Corps, our class is presently at the lowest point in the mental health cycle of a PCV. We’ve been here long enough to have the newness wear off (8 months), and we still have a long time to go (19 months). Also we have not seen the fruits of our labors yet – so we can get discouraged. I am working hard to remain upbeat and try to keep a good mental perspective through all of this. But I must warn those who think of joining the Peace Corps that this is a very difficult, lonely journey.  Of my original class of 46 we have lost 3 to medical issues, and 3 to “this is not what I thought it would be”. However, for many it is wonderful. I just attended a good bye dinner for a man in his late 50’s, who is finishing his second Peace Corp service (Mexico for 3 years and Uganda for 2) and he plans to return to the US for 6 months and then rejoin Peace Corps to teach math and science in Jordan for 2 years. So for the right people this is a wonderful life adventure. For me, I am still figuring it out. J

For More on the Ups & Downs visit my friend Nancy’s post from yesterday! She nailed it. http://atexangoesquesting.blogspot.com/2012/03/feelings-and-other-honesties.html

Drinking

Related to the above challenges, drinking seems to go one way or another…. primarily the younger people drink a lot – maybe as much as, or more as back home; and generally the older PCVs drink less. Of course these are generalizations, and there are old and young who do not follow this trend. For me I have not drank so little alcohol since childhood. I may go 3-4 weeks without anything, and then have one or 2. Drinking for me is a luxury that must have the right environment. Here everything requires so much work, and safety is always on my mind. So, I will plan to have a drink with my buds when I get back on US soil! SO….please keep that bottle of bourbon in your cupboard for me!

Poetry

Well I have written 34 poems since arriving in Africa. All but the very personal have made it to this blog. This has been a significant part of my personal development and a result of my “Vision Quest”. It has required courage to put on paper my thoughts and feelings as they course through me….Courage to feel them, and listen to them; and then courage to put it on paper; and finally courage to share it. I recognize the themes of what has been on my mind and find them reflecting the person I am. Themes of self-identity, my physical person and the process of aging, the connections of places and friends in my life and my appreciation for them, my joy in nature and in the simple things, and the struggle of all of us as humans to understand our purpose. 

Thanks to those of you who have encouraged me to continue. I have delighted in seeing which ones impact various people. I can post 4 poems and have 4 different people express why different poems resonate with them. So enjoy the ones you like, and leave the rest for others! It’s just a buffet of my thoughts! 

American Skin                   Mar 17, 2012

Sneaking away from the 3^rd world

For a bit of respite

Close the curtains

Praise the stars & stripes

Hanging from the ceiling

Of my cement hut

So grateful

For being born an American

Wrapped from birth in this shawl

Of healthy societal institutions

So pervasive

It’s taken for granted

Our layers of protection,

Support, Justice, Freedom

Gift wrapped and delivered

To us, the chosen

Rarely mentioned or noticed

Because it is expected

It is all we have known

Until      …it is gone

The absence is crushing

At times in sub Saharan Africa

Non-existent social services

No garbage collection

No water pipes

No sewage systems

Uncertain judicial processes

Questionable public officials

So grateful for the American wingspan

Reaching - all the way here

Protecting us – Serving us

As we serve

Even here we are privileged

White, Black, Indian, Hispanic, Asian

Wrapped in American Skin

A US Passport

Is our ticket to a place

Where others can only visit

In their dreams

My little slice of America in my home! (Curtains by Walmart!)

Irrational Addiction                         Mar 17, 2012

Warm & Rich

So easy to love

Kick starts the day

Breaks the afternoon

Closes the evening meal

Alone

And with friends

Or strangers

This self-indulgent vice

Brings illogical contentment

Reminds me of home

Of happy moments

Of daily routines

With my spouse

My sons

My parents

This humble ritual

This irrational addiction

Delivers so much more

Than a cup of coffee

Envy                      March 4^th 2012

Envy

So seductive

To see others and be jealous

So easy to point out flaws

Cracks

Failings of others

To be righteous that they

Don’t Deserve

To believe they are

Lucky

Unworthy of their Abundance

Of Love

Money

Looks

Talent

So easy to forget

They struggle

Like you

Hurt

Like you

Are lost

Like you

Better to Celebrate

Be happy

For Blessings

To pray

Burdens are lessened

To Encourage and Love

Instead

Despise Envy

A terrible

Dark facet of our humanness

A direct path to hell

That glitters with temptation

For the weak and lonely

Who cannot see

We are all connected

That Envy is our Enemy

Time                      March 3 2012

Time

To wait

To think

To day dream

To let go

To breathe

To listen to your spirit

To be

Time

To remember

To forget

To inspect & evaluate

To meditate

Or not

Time

Like you’ve never taken before

Time

Continues forward

Regardless of you or your plans

Don’t wish the minutes to quicken

Passing like waters of a swollen river

Sink into the seconds

Like a queen surrounded by silken luxury

Time

To be self-indulgent

Masks                   March 3, 2012

Wearing many faces

Playing the parts

That are expected

Roles:

Woman, Wife, Mother, Parent,

Child, Boss, Employee, Consultant, Expert

All requiring

Bits of my soul

Bits of my time

Pulling me to pieces

Reduced to anonymous titles

Losing

My name, myself, my Spirit

My joy

While the masks graft into my skin

Pained and scared

I remove them

Defiant to be unlabeled

The multitudes scream

This challenges the expected order

Threatens those who demand

I remain under the spell

Slowly

Deliberately

I extricate

Unearth

Uplift

The treasure

Of me

Response to Kony2012

Short Blog in Response to Kony2012

OK my 2 cents - In terms of the Kony2012 thing - everyone here thinks its surprising this has come up now, as he has been gone from Uganda for 6 years. However he is a scary evil dude and the world would be better without him - I am working and living in the aftermath of Kony's legacy and yes it was horrible!!! 

An IDP camp (Internally Displaced Persons camp) was across the road from our school. The entire community slept at the camp every night for many years to avoid abduction - they cut the trees down to stop rebels from hiding in them.

However not just kids were abducted and killed - thousands of adults / parents were killed - there are so many orphans and people who lost one parent. These are my students - the orphaned and the returned child soldiers. Most have been returned from the "bush" but all are scarred. The students here have lost siblings just like the kid in the movie - often burned to death in their huts.

I have met people aged 16-30 who escaped but have burns and stab wound scars to prove it. 20 years it went on and we never knew. On top of that AIDS was rampant in the camps as people had little to do but drink and have sex - so there is a huge HIV positive percentage in these communities.

By the way - Invisible Children sponsors several kids at my school. So they are here on the ground helping kids get educated.

I personally like his idea and tactics but its a little after the fact. The biggest problem now however is that 20 years of aid has led to a society of dependency. People don't want to work for school fees when foreign aid will pay for it. Everyone asks me for money because I am white and that is what white people do. A whole generation grew up with food relief so people dont want to farm. There are numerous programs now to jump start the farming process again.

USAID has been very involved here for a while as well - so dont write off the American Govt for not helping. There was no mention of that at all in the movie.

So I like the idea of empowering people to stop a war - I just think its after the fact - but still a good thing to do. Like killing Osama 10 years after 9/11 - a nice closure but not changing a lot. 

Friday Night, VAC, ESCAPE!, Beautiful Uganda, ...Poetry

Friday Night

Its March and I have been here 7 months – only 20 left.
In some ways it seems to have gone rather quickly. Though there are days I think to myself – “I still have 1 and ¾ years left.” That overwhelms a bit. However, I continue to be excited to meet the person I will be on the day I return to the USA. So I continue to sharpen the saw, polish the glass, and view the world through a new lens.  

I returned home from work, carried water to my bathing room outside, turned on the drip irrigation for the night and then picked the leaves off of a local green I purchased at the Koro market. This green is called “Bo” (pronounced Beaux) ….they have another green called “Do-Do” (pronounced Deaux Deaux – like the bird). I cook them both like spinach and tonight did a great job making pasta with Bo, onions, garlic, and fresh tomato with olive oil and parmesan cheese.  (Thanks for the Parmesan in my last packages!!) I made Brownies last weekend and am perfecting the baking in a two pots over a gas stove technique) Practice makes perfect…almost! Please know that you are all on my mind constantly and I have a wall of fame to remind me of your affection!

Wall of Fame! 

VAC

I just returned from Kampala where I attended a Volunteer Advisory Committee Meeting (VAC).  I rode down on the post bus with my friends Nancy & Michelle.  We stayed at the New City Annex – a popular Peace Corps Hotel/Hostel. The rooms are priced at 20,000 Ugandan Shillings per bed…a little under $10 US.  There are hall bathing rooms and real toilets, and a sink in the middle of the hall for brushing teeth. Feels like a dormitory, but this ranks as luxury to those of us in the villages.

We usually get a triple room and the 3 VAC members (Me, Alia, Michelle) stay together and catch up on each other’s PC adventures. We also provide support and a listening ear for the numerous challenges faced in the field. It’s amazing how much this camaraderie helps us keep perspective and allows us to share ideas for coping with the constant stress of living like a local in Africa. The hotel room with 3 women feels a lot like sleepovers from my youth….Especially since I am almost twice the age of Alia and Michelle.

We are feeling a bit down – the 7 month slump – as we realize we have a long time remaining and we don’t yet feel like we are hitting full stride in our projects. We hear this is normal for a PCV – so we just wait for the next wave to overtake us…the thrill of feeling like we are making a real impact.

Escape for Mental Health!

So to escape our present reality, we went to a movie theater and saw “This Means War” – I really enjoyed it, especially watching Reese Whitherspoon and the 2 hunky men. It truly was a great escape – seeing cities with traffic rules and a semblance of order, functioning appliances, sidewalks etc...  I forgot for a minute I was in Uganda….until the projector broke, and we sat in the theatre waiting for the thing to be fixed. Since it was a Tuesday at 2pm, we were the only people in the theatre. The good news was the projector was repaired – otherwise I think I would have “blown a gasket”. We also ate pizza (not like US pizza but a girl can pretend) and had Chinese food that actually tasted like Chinese food! Miracles in Kampala do exist.

Sunny and Beautiful Uganda

I keep being bowled over by the lovely vegetation they have here. The trees and flowers are breath taking and I seem to be the only one who notices them. I have never lived in California, but I think the weather is similar – they just have more rain. So it’s naturally green – not green by design. (Shout out to Bro Robert, Landscape Guru in LA).  We are starting to get excited here for the rainy season. This means we will be planting crops in our gardens soon. I am hiring several students to clear the land and create the beds for me. So I get to have all the fun. I brought tons of seeds and can’t wait to get them in the ground!

School

Classes are in full swing. We have 4 Metal Working/Motor Vehicle Mechanics Classes; one Driving class; 1 Tailoring class; 4 Building & Concrete Practice classes,1 Agriculture class and 2 carpentry classes. The Sponsored Program from GUSCO that I wrote about previously has begun. They chose to sponsor 51 students and we are providing 3 month vocational courses to this group. This helps the school with its finances and makes a big difference to those in the community.  I learned it is funded by UNICEF – so thanks to those fine people!

Poetry (A little carried away with my physical self this month!)

The Illusion Youth            Feb 02, 2012

The illusion of youth is certainty

Being so sure of what is

Indignant at those who question

Knowing what is right all the time

Now a bit envious of those times

Not for the physical indications of youth

But for its solace of sureness

Missing that feeling of confident righteous certainty

The ease of moving through time and space

Self-assured, easy

Though knowing it was illusion

We cannot return there

So we travel more timidly

With understanding & forgiveness

Through the uncertain terrain

Blessing the broken, weak & struggling

Realizing our shared humanity

Connects us all

Only certain now that grey consumes Black & White

Ode to my Choppers                      Feb 13, 2012

I am one of THOSE people

A Flosser

I love my teeth

The never ending delight they bring

Crunching Ice

Slicing Steak

Popping Cherry Tomatoes

So glad to have healthy teeth

Flashing a bright smile

Showing the world

They are not ignored

Not taken for granted

These Teeth are cherished!

Moderation                        Feb 2012

Not too much

Not too little

Somewhere in the middle

Avoiding extremes

Keeping perspective

Remaining in check

Sidestepping destruction

And burnt fingers

Finding pleasure

In the subtle & sublime

Relinquishing the adrenaline euphoria

For a richer calmer bliss

Aging Friend                       March 2, 2012

She’s been there through it all

A friend for life – literally

Always near & usually cooperative of my plans

As a young girl I hardly noticed her

Took her for granted

Assumed she would forever rise to the occasion

I couldn’t complain

She is active, athletic, rarely sick

Through the birth of my children

She performed admirably

There was no doubting her abilities

Around 30 I noticed a few blemishes:

Stretch marks, smile lines

A slight slackening of the skin

At 35 the grey began to peek through

Small silver rivers, mostly hidden

At 45 she couldn’t pretend

She was a young thing anymore

Too much evidence to the contrary

The appalling age spots

Protruding veins

Loose skin at the neck

Seeing her in full bright light

I realized my friend was aging

I suppose I saw it coming

But didn’t notice the years piling up

Natural forces taking their toll

Again – no complaints

She continues to do as she is asked

Though now I pay her more attention

Listen when she is tired

Grateful she can participate in my activities

She really is terrific

This aging friend & partner

My amazing body

No Money, Lukodi, GUSCO, MP, Advising, Disasters,...and Poetry

Feb 11^th, 2012     Happy Birthday Meg  - you are 1 in a Million, Cuz!

No Money in Uganda

I am asked for money daily – usually by strangers – occasionally by co-workers. Often it is for transportation, money to attend a funeral, for a relative with AIDS, for a wife who needs surgery, or to help pay school fees.  I always say I can’t help them. Which may seem awful, but as soon as I give money to one person, the floodgates will … and I am here for 2 years.  So I empathize, say how sorry I am, and often give them a hug, which is not a Ugandan custom.  I assume they think it’s a weird American custom for saying something like life is hard.

However a week ago was the most difficult dilemma. Our Matron (lady who oversees the girls’ dormitory) and grinding mill operator mentioned again how sick she was feeling, especially in the chest area, and how it hurt to breathe and spit. She welled up with tears and said “I am dying and have no money for the hospital”. She was obviously very frightened and really thought she was dying. I have no medical training and had no idea how sick she was, but I could tell she believed she was very sick and dying. She never asked me for money, she just said she had no money for transportation, hospital fees and medicines. I believed her, since our staff has not been paid since November.  

On top of this her grown daughter was recently severely beaten by her husband. So she was gone for a few days to nurse her daughter. The husband was arrested. Although it is OK to hit your wife, you are not allowed to almost kill her. I have no idea how old the Matron is, as her life of poverty has prematurely aged her. I do know she also has kids in primary school and her husband is either dead or “gone”.

So I hugged her and told her I was so sorry and I would pray for her.  I felt so torn. My heart was talking and my head was talking. I listened to both knowing there are millions more stories that are equally horrific and compelling.

So I decided to find things in my home I didn’t need – the package of incredibly large old lady panties a friend sent (to my horror), some mint leaves and lemon verbena as herbal medicines for her chest, an extra package of Band-Aids, and 2 extra pillowcases in a brown cloth pouch. Not much, but I told her she can use or sell any of the items as she feels fit. So I skirted around my “no giving money to Ugandans policy” by giving things she can sell. Funny how the heart can out rationalize the head!

The outcome has been she has recovered and is now looking almost 100% - I like to think it’s the lemon verbena and mint teas that helped cure her. Maybe it was just that someone cared and tried to help that lifted her spirits.

Lukodi

On Wednesday Feb 1^st, 2012 I went with a reverend from Kampala and representatives from Bright Futures Australia to visit Lukodi Village – 17 Kilometers north of Gulu town. This village was the site of a massacre during the 20 year war with the LRA. The village was attacked because the LRA felt someone in the village had given information to the Ugandan army about the LRA’s whereabouts. People were burned inside their homes, cut into pieces and abducted – along with many other atrocities. This is not unusual in this section of Uganda and I am reminded daily that almost everyone I meet has lived through so many horrors.  It was a bright, hot day and everyone was smiling as they welcomed us. We interviewed many women and village leaders to learn how aid provided from Bright Futures is helping them recover. We toured homes, inspected agricultural stores, attended a Village Savings and Loan (VSLA) meeting and inquired what their needs are at this time.

They have received seeds, oxen, and education on farming to help attain more secure food sources. They have been given chickens and goats to help generate new sources of income. They have received improved water sources and a grinding mill for the community. We were warmly greeted and even watched some youth perform cultural dances.

One thing they asked for that I am trying to assist them with is a mobile HIV/AIDS testing vehiclethat can come to their village. Most women get tested – it is required if they go for treatment during preganancy. However many men do not get tested and say they don’t want to pay to go to town for testing. So the women want to get their men educated, counseled, and tested. They feel a mobile vehicle is the only way it will get done. I am hoping I can set this up through Peace corps, USAID or another organization.

GUSCO

Gulu Support the Children Organization (GUSCO) http://www.gusco.org/index.php is an NGO that has selected 3 vocational schools to provide 3 month courses to war affected youth to help them acquire skills to make a living. My school is one of those selected schools, and I have been registering the potential students as they come to register for the subsidized courses. This has been taking place for the last 2 weeks and we have signed up almost 80 potential students to date. Part of the registration is asking them a series of questions. “Were they abducted by the LRA? Dates of Abduction? Are they child mothers? Did they drop out of school?” The majority of registrants were abducted. Many come with papers documenting their reintegration into the community and detailing the dates they were “in the bush”. 

This has been a real front row experience for me. Most can only speak a little English and we get through the questions using my infantile Acholi language skills and their often better English abilities. The hardest part is when the effects of the experiences are still severely debilitating to the young person sitting across from me. I can see it in their eyes. They look like they may cry at any moment and will not maintain eye contact. Frequently they stare at the ground and answer in a whisper. I am also encouraged by those who appear to have overcome the trauma to a large extent and are smiling and communicating with a light in their eyes. They all seem grateful I am there and smile broadly when I try to speak in Acholi.

Minister of Parliament Visits Koro Abili

On Friday Feb 3, 2012 the Omoro County Minister of Parliament(MP), and Deputy Speaker of Parliament, the Hon. Jacob Oulanyah rolled through Koro Abili to address School and Business Leaders. Since the Director of our school was not there I was selected to go along with our  Deputy Director. The meeting place was across Kampala Highway directly across from our school offices. I tagged along to witness the event and was completely surprised when a man took my arm and led me to the front of the room and placed me 2 seats over from the MP’s seat. I was then asked to address the crown of approximately 80 and introduce myself. It’s funny but if you are white person in a small village you are automatically an important dignitary. I took a breath and with a translator introduced myself and the objectives of Peace Corps and said I was excited to work with the community to help in any way I could.

After the MP addressed the audience in Acholi, he turn to me and spoke in English thanking me and saying he was very familiar with our school and will work hard to help us. Who knows, but I am hopeful he will keep his promise.

Business Advising

We just began a new term at school and I put the word out that I am happy to meet with any students who want business training and advising support. So presently I have 3 students whom I meet each Wed and Saturday. Since this is a vocational school almost everyone will leave here and try to support themselves with their skills. I plan to cover some theory, but mostly practical steps to help them get started. I also I am working with the administration on a speaker series of successful graduates and other local businessmen to come talk to the students about their business journeys. This will be very interesting to them and to me. Finally when I spoke at the Minister of Parliament Meeting, I met 2 Gulu University Students who are studying business and they have both asked for mentoring from me.

Dry Season Disasters

Yes it is the dry season and I am very well equipped to deal with the heat and lack of water. However, I did not realize the other challenges I would face. The biggest problem for me has been that in Acholi land all animals are released during the dry season to forage for themselves. This has led herds of goats and cows to roam freely onto our campus to eat any green thing they find. This means they have finished off our remaining cabbages and in the process damaged a number of the irrigation pipes on our drip irrigation field. They had also eaten almost everything I painstakingly planted and watered over the last few months. I am very annoyed with this setback, but I will rebound once the wet season returns. Thanks Mom and Dad for the sunflower seeds!

I wrote last time about Africa Burning and this continues – however last night I found out they don’t always contain the fires. My friend Nancy’s compound caught on fire around 1:30 am and she was awakened to the fire crackling precariously close, just outside her window. She, I and her neighbors frantically worked to contain it and keep the buildings from catching on fire. This was all done with no running water – just filling jerry cans from the water source just down the road and carrying it back to the fire. There was no major damage but it was a very close call. Read more on her blog...http://atexangoesquesting.blogspot.com/2012/02/and-then-there-was-fire.html

Poetry

Sunscreen     Jan 31. 2012

A happy memory to take out

And roll over in my mind

Applying sunscreen to my sons

A protective tender ritual

While vacationing

Taking time to pay attention

 To the beautiful parts of life

Smiling while asking to be still

Giggling at the grimaces

Anointing all magical surface areas

Lobes, Toes, Neck, Nose

Arms, Legs, Foot tops!

One simple moment

Encompassing so much of motherhood

Overflowing Eyes            Jan 31, 2012

A favorite movie line

God is in the Rain

Returns to me often

And I manipulate it

As the moment requires

God is in the breeze

God is in the effort

God is in the resting

God is in the sunrise, sunset, light & darkness

God is in my heart

God is in your smile

I keep seeing God

And understand why

My eyes overflow

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Yes they overflow and I am so grateful for the life I am living.

Hugs and love to all of you