End of my Peace Corps Journey..beginning of next..Destination Unknown..and POETRY

Well one year ended up being the length of my Peace Corps Journey. On August 24th I Early Terminated (ET'd) from Peace Corps and feel appreciative of the experience and delighted to be moving on...though it comes with some sadness of having to leave the special people I met over the last 12 months. Just before I left my computer was stolen from my hotel room in Kampala. So I lost most of my photos of this life milestone. However, the images are etched in my mind, and its all good and OK. Compared to the emotional devastation and poverty I witnessed, I know I am rich beyond measure and this is just a little inconvenience.

Below is a letter I sent to my classmates and it sums up my sentiments at this time.

Dear PCV Class of Aug 2011....my friends
Yes I ET'd and its not a sad thing at all. So dont take my experience
to a negative conclusion...it was perfect for me.

My 1 year in Peace Corps was amazing in both it's depths of euphoria
and depression. In my soul I knew I had to come, and In my soul I knew
when I was finished and needed to leave.

I came to the conclusion that the universe was determined to make sure
I did not settle in to my Peace Corps "job". My sites were very
difficult ...resembling bad Ugandan soap operas, my experience with PC
Uganda were at times comical in their mishandling....even when they
tried to handle me well, my body was not cooperating, and my sister
had a family crises in the middle of all this. So an early exit was
the right course of action.

Because I never could get engaged in my work, I was forced to focus
inward and navel gaze a great deal of the time. I was blessed with
uncovering a new passion in writing poetry and given the luxury of
reading and learning more than I likely will ever be able to do again.
These activities occurred in the back drop of a 3rd world country and
left me with life long gifts of understanding and knowledge that were
just what I needed at this time in my life.

While in Uganda I made a few real Ugandan friends, and these are the
people I choose to remember as true Ugandans. The corrupt and lazy
discouraged me, but I know they are not representative of my Uganda.

As an added bonus, I also met some of the most talented, interesting
and selfless Americans. I have new daughters, sons, sisters and
brothers and I will cherish all of your unique and quirky ways long
into the future. Each of you showed me the world through a different
lens and expanded my life.

Try to nourish the noble parts of yourself and not let negativity
reduce your legacies. It is tough at times and we all stumble, but do
not succumb to bitterness and apathy. Each of us has seen beauty
shining through poverty and this has changed us forever.

         Peace,
         Karla

I am now in Switzerland with my sister for two months before returning home to the USA. I can honestly say I love our country with all its blemishes and quirks, and for me, it is still the best place to live. Over the last 12 months I read a great deal of history and fell in love again with the principles our country was founded on. We must remain diligent in teaching these to each generation or we will end up losing our country to the illusion shown on"reality TV".

POETRY

Timeout   August 11, 2012 

Sometimes its best

To put ourselves in timeout

To stop

To think

To take a deep breath

To avoid being rash

Following impulses

We likely would regret 

Timeout for Adults

Is more difficult to achieve

This requires one

To step away

From everything 

Most of us won’t do it

Walk out on career,

Home, family, parenthood

Our protected image

Checkout, withdraw

But I needed

To be in timeout 

For me it was

A bit extreme

I’m told I’m overly enthusiastic

However, I challenge the adjective overly

And accept the accusation

Of enthusiastic

I consider it part

Of my endearing charm

Something uniquely me

Graced from above

…But I digress 

My timeout

My year wandering in the wilderness

Took more effort

More courage

More learning

Than I imagined

What I learned is that

It was absolutely necessary

So I could be changed back

Into my essential self

Fall in love with me

My best true friend

Drop the duties

Required by guilt

That were destroying me

And my loved ones

One drop at a time 

The lessons I learned…

Quit the rat race – the rats win every time

Fall in love with yourself

You are not meant to conform to the mean

Change yourself – leave everyone else alone

Don’t buy what they sell on TV – Its Crap!

Be delighted with who and what you have

See the beauty and splendor of your loved ones

Discount their faults – the mirror reflects a glass house

Don’t write your story – it will write itself

…and it will end beautifully, if you let go

Of engineering the ending

The best part of life is the people – the rest is fluff

Without the blessing of a just and healthy civil society – its 100% harder 

Now I am ready

To return

From Timeout

My 12 months

Of navel gazing is complete

I’m ready to enthusiastically

Re-enter the arena

Changed back to

The better distilled version

Of me! 

She Awoke  August 11, 2012

She said I have to leave

Whether he understood or not

That her heart was imploding

And her mind was racing

In panicked uncontrolled directions

That she could not breathe easily

Or smile without breaking into a sweat

She laughed nervously

And said Really, I have to leave

…Now

And though she did not know why

Or where she was going

She left

Trusting the path would be illuminated

If she took the first step

To others she appeared disturbed

…And she was

With intention she left

Only sure that leaving was her salvation

And thus began her long walk through the desert

Life reduced to the bare essentials

Even less

Late at night

She faced herself without distraction

She listened and thought and prayed

And did it again

And again

Waiting for direction to be revealed

Until one day

She awoke

And the world seemed settled

And the turmoil was over

And she said I need to go home

And she knew exactly where that was